Silent Scars (Surviving #4) Read online

  My face flamed, and I clenched my thighs together as heat pooled at the apex.

  Emily leaned in close. “When Will and I hooked up, it was outside in the car park, on his motorbike.”

  My mouth gaped open, and I stared, not quite believing polite Will would ever do that.

  Lou scoffed, but busied herself by running her fingers under her eyes and checking her makeup in the mirror. Emily offered me a gentle smile and also checked her hair and makeup. Where Emily was blonde, blue eyed, and utterly stunning, Lou was the opposite. She had gorgeous chestnut brown hair, deep hazel eyes, and an innocent radiant beauty. But their personalities were what made them exceptional. Both of their men and Ryan were mountainous, but it was these two petite fiery, fierce creatures that stepped forward to protect their own. They were like a pack of lions, and they were the reigning lionesses no one messed with.

  The door swung open and banged loudly against the wall, startling a few women, including me, in the bathroom. The young woman staggered through the doors on heels that were so freaking high, I was certain were her ticket to heaven.

  “There’s a fit bloke outside.” She stumbled and grasped hold of the ledge where the sinks were. She covered her mouth as if she was going to be sick, but instead released an almighty burp.

  Lou glanced at me over her shoulder. “Makes you proud to be female, doesn’t it.”

  I dipped my chin to hide my giggle. The girl was shouting again. Pointing her thumb over her shoulder. “Fit bastard outside said if Alison—no Alice. Hold on.” She held her hand up and pulled the door open, leaning out. Her arse was poised at the room, and her skirt had risen, giving everyone a bird’s eye view of her neon pink thong. Ugh.

  “Oi, what was her name again?” The girl lurched backwards, followed by a very surly looking Ryan. His jaw was locked tight, fists clenched by his sides, as he surveyed the room. His blue orbs locked on me, and he stalked his way through the chattering women. There were numerous women in here with more than enough skin on show, but his gaze never once faltered from me, and I wouldn’t deny the butterflies that caused in my stomach.

  “You – Aloura –” His voice stuttered as he reached for me. He cupped my chin, and I sucked in a breath at his blatant and purposeful touch. I was entranced by the frantic way his eyes searched my face. Then a cloud misted over him, and he turned his head to glance at Lou and Emily, who were watching us with matching grins on their faces.

  “I asked you to check if she was okay,” he snapped at Lou. His hand was still cupping my chin, creating a wave of tingling sensations to flush through my body.

  “And as you can see, she is perfectly fine.” Lou beamed up at him.

  Ryan scowled at her a moment before returning his attention to me. Lou’s smile brightened when he stepped closer. “You look upset.”

  “I’m fine,” I croaked.

  “Emily and I are heading back.” Lou glanced around one of Ryan’s biceps and winked at me. I didn’t know her too well, so the mischievous glint in her eyes could have been my imagination – but for some reason my stomach knotted.

  “We can go home if you like?”

  My stomach fluttered with excitement at him calling it home. I couldn’t deny it sounded wonderful.

  I slowly twisted my head from side to side, keeping my eyes locked on his. “I want to stay.”

  He leaned towards me; he was so close I could feel his warm breath against my lips. “Tell me why you’re upset.” His demand was at war with the gentle, almost pleading tone.

  I opened my mouth to speak, but his hand that was holding my chin moved, stalling the words in my throat. His fingers spanned the side and back of my neck, and his thumb was doing wickedly nice things to my senses. He dipped the blunt tip into the hollow at the base of my throat. His gaze tracked the movement. And slowly, oh so incredibly slow, he stroked the pad of his thumb up my neck. Chasing the breath from my windpipe. My lips parted on a gasp when his thick tip traced over my bottom lip. His eyes darkened, the outer edge an almost royal blue. It was like staring into a turbulent ocean.

  “I need to know why you’re upset.” He pressed the pad of his thumb to my top lip and reverently traced my mouth until it rested on my bottom lip. His hand flexed, imperceptibly pulling me closer to him. Our breaths mingled as he lowered his head to mine. My skin prickled as shivers wracked my body because he was so addictively close. His scent swarmed me, wrapping me in the comfort of man. I closed my eyes and leaned into his touch.

  “Tell me, please, tiny dancer.”

  I expelled a gush of air and melted against him. I lifted my hands and fisted his shirt. We were sliding together, finally becoming two pieces of the same puzzle.

  “I made you angry,” I whispered; I could feel the ghost of his lips. The only thing between us was air.

  “When?”

  “By wearing this.” I pointed my finger at myself, without releasing his shirt. “I never meant to annoy you. I wanted to look good for you.” I cringed at my needy tone. I didn’t need a man to feel good about myself, but for some reason, I wanted to be the woman to put a smile on his face, to be the woman to drive him to distraction.

  “Aloura.” His deep growl made shivers race down my spine. His meaty hand raised and cupped my other cheek, and he forced me back against the wall. His massive frame pressed against me. The power of his body was the most intoxicating aphrodisiac. My hands drifted up his torso to grasp the fabric around the neck of his shirt. He pressed his forehead to mine. His body held me willingly against the wall. We were so close I could feel his heart pounding against my chest. He was so incredibly hot. I was burning. I released my grip on his shirt, desperate to feel his skin, and held my palms around the base of his neck, slowly stroking them up the thick column. The skin was rougher as I reached his tense jaw. The vibrations of a groan tickled my sensitised palms. Ryan stroked his nose against mine, dipping his head, bringing his mouth closer to where I wanted him. The fire between us was raging, my heart beating a rhythmic response to his. Without conscious thought I rolled my hips into his, and his hands tightened, cupping my face, dominating me.

  “Ryan, please,” I breathed, lifting my chin to give him open access to my mouth. My tongue peeked out to wet my bottom lip. I needed him. His hot breath fanned against me; a delicious wave of desire pulsed between us. He lowered his mouth. He was there, right there. I shuddered in his arms when his top lip brushed against me in a slow painful tease. The touch was colossal but barely there at all. I whimpered in need. It wasn’t nearly enough.

  I tugged at his neck, trying to bring him closer. But the beast wouldn’t move. I grumbled out an annoyed sound of desperation that ended on a gasp when he took my plump bottom lip between his and sucked, hard.

  My body melted against him; my bones seemingly dissolved into a puddle of desire in his arms. A deep aching throb between the apexes of my thighs. I needed pressure there. I needed him.

  “Alright you two lovebirds. No shagging in the bogs. Outside.”

  Ryan pulled away, almost sending me crashing to the floor at the loss of his support. His hands cupped my waist and held me steady as he glared at the guy standing behind him.

  My cheeks were flushed, my heart beating so wildly I could barely hear the cacophony of whistles and cat calls. The bouncer glared at the both of us disapprovingly. That’s when reality hit, hard. I was in a public bathroom having the most erotic experience of my life. I leaned against the cool tiles, panting like I had run a race.

  “You need to leave, now,” the guy said, trying to appear intimidating. But Ryan was clearly someone impossible to intimidate.

  Ryan slid his hand into mine and pulled me along.

  “I just need to freshen up.”

  “I’m not leaving without you, Aloura, so unless you want a brawl, I suggest you follow.”

  I closed my mouth and silently obeyed him. He held my hand with such tender care it was at odds with his hulking frame. I tugged at the hem of my shorts with my free hand an
d jogged to keep up with his massive strides. When we were out in the hallway that led back into the club, Ryan paused and turned his head to the side, but not quite enough to look back at me.

  “You look amazing. I wasn’t angry at you. I was angry at me.”

  “Why?”

  He stared straight ahead and remained quiet for so long I was certain he wouldn’t answer. But then he twisted around, pinned me with his deep blue gaze. He opened his mouth, but no words came out. I waited, praying something profound and earth shattering would leave his lips and that those same lips would claim me in a scorching kiss. But what words did reach my ears only shattered me.

  “Because better is out there; don’t you understand that? I should not let a pair of tight shorts, long legs, and gorgeous...”He paused and released frustrated groan. “I was distracted. It won’t happen again. I’m here to protect you, nothing more.” He turned and tugged on my arm when I didn’t immediately follow. But as a slow numbness slid into my veins, I followed blindly. My body was his to control as we manoeuvred our way through the club.

  Because better is out there.

  I shivered even though it was hot as hell. How could I have been so foolish to believe someone like Ryan would want me, a pathetic hermit afraid to make real friends? My shoulder barged into a hard body, and I jerked my head up.

  “Sorry,” I called behind me. I almost slammed into Ryan’s back when he stopped suddenly. He yanked me in front of him and presented me to the group, almost as if handing me over, relinquishing himself of his burden.

  Emily was sitting beside Lou and on her other side. Where I expected to see Will was a good looking guy with dark stylishly messy hair. Beside him was Will and then Johan. I stood staring at the group like an idiot; my cheeks heated, and I took a hesitant step back. Ryan’s hand at the base of my spine prevented me moving further.

  “Hey,” Emily called cheerfully. She shifted in her seat, and Lou jumped down from the booth as Emily waddled herself to the edge. She reached out a hand, and Ryan stepped around me to help her down. Even heavily pregnant she was graceful.

  “You come and sit by me.” She motioned for me to get in the booth. Ryan placed his arm around my bicep, stopping me for a second. I avoided looking at him. I couldn’t bring myself to give him eye contact after everything we had just been through. I honestly thought some kind of connection had occurred in the bathroom. But clearly I was an idiot.

  Because there is better out there.

  “Oh, are you going to the bar, Ryan?” Lou interrupted, pressing her hand to his, effectively dislodging his hand from me.

  “Er...”

  “Mine’s a pint,” Jo shouted, holding up his empty glass.

  “Same here, bro,” Will added, and the rest of the group followed. I slid into the booth and moved across when Emily slid in beside me, followed by Lou. I shimmied across the seat trying to control my shorts from riding so high they would act as a thong. It was a very private area, and we were the only people in this part of the club, but I had a feeling my night was about to improve.

  It wasn’t a crime to kill your brothers for choosing the two most annoying women in the entire fucking world was it? The two tiny minxes were playing a very dangerous game, and I was their pawn. I rubbed the back of my neck, trying to iron out the tension. Maybe I was wrong, and this wasn’t a complete set up, and Aloura really was interested in hooking up with some guy.

  But seriously, did the fucker need to be so obvious? Lou and Em had repeatedly invited guys over to our quiet nook, much to the chagrin of my guys who had to constantly kick them all out.

  Will was chatting next to me, but I wasn’t paying any attention. My gaze was currently on the current bastard’s hand on Aloura’s knee. He was some twenty-something David Beckham wannabe with the fancy hair and tattoos. Aloura leaned over his lap and said something to Lou. I gritted my teeth when he rubbed his hand up and down her back and watched her amazing tits when her top gaped. He looked at me and lifted a brow, smirking with shit eating glee.

  “Breathe for me, Ry, before you kill someone,” Will said close to me.

  “His hands are all over her. Our job is to keep her safe.”

  “It’s not to stop her from getting laid though.”

  I spun so quickly to glare at him that he pulled back and held his hands up in surrender.

  “I dare you to say that again,” I growled.

  “All I’m saying is – if you want her, stop being a pussy and go get her before some other chump claims her.”

  “She isn’t a possession, Will. I don’t want to claim her, but this dickhead is clearly a player. He’ll discard her before the condom is off. “ A tentative hand put pressure on my shoulder. I glanced over to see Aloura teetering on her heels. She had used me to gain her balance and heard every. Single. Word. Her lips curved in a shaky smile. She tried valiantly to hide her pain, but those big doe eyes reflected exactly how much of a bastard I really was.

  “Aloura.”

  “I need to use the ladies. I won’t be long.” She released my shoulder and walked around me like I had some infectious disease. I started to stand, but a hand slapped me – hard around the back of the head. The table was silent, and all eyes were on me. The dickhead was grinning, but all other faces were disgusted by my actions. I deflated on a sigh, letting my idiocy float out of me. My shoulders sagged, and I reached for my soda before taking a sip and turning to watch Aloura disappear through the crowd. She clearly had her limit in drinks because she stumbled into people a couple of times. And more than enough beady eyes watched her ass in those damn shorts. I couldn’t sit here and leave her to the raging pack of hormones. “Sit this one out before you make the girl cry.” I gritted my teeth because Will was right, and I hated that.

  “We found her near to tears when you arrived tonight,” Emily offered. She shrugged her shoulders apologetically and glanced at Lou, whose eyes warned me if I moved, she would cut my balls off.

  Biting the inside of my cheek, I dipped my chin in a sharp nod. “If you want her, Ryan, stop playing games,” Lou said softly. Why the hell were we sitting in such a quiet part of the club so every fucking word could be heard?

  “She likes you, Ryan.”

  “When I need your opinion, Louise, I will ask for it,” I snapped.

  “Ryan, stop being a petulant pussy. And never, ever speak to Lou like that again. I ain’t playing man so stop being a dick,” Jo snapped. I rubbed my hands over my beanie; the fucking thing was itching in this heat.

  “I’m going to the bar. Will you tell Aloura I’m over there?” I pointed behind me and waited for a response. I couldn’t look anyone in the eye right now.

  “Ryan, come on, you don’t have to leave.”

  I stood, and without meeting anyone’s gaze, I headed for a quiet spot at the bar. My chest ached. I rubbed at my sternum, trying to force it away. Just as I reached an empty stool, I caught site of Aloura coming out of the hallway to the bathroom. God she was remarkable.

  The pain in my chest intensified. I turned away, confident he would protect her, but like a wreck I couldn’t stand not to watch. Without moving my body, I surreptitiously glanced over my shoulder. She headed over to me, and I couldn’t for the life of me tear my gaze from her.

  “Come back and join your friends, Ryan. It isn’t right you’re sitting over here alone.”

  “I was a dick, and right now they kind of think I’m an idiot. I’m sorry for what I said. I was out of line.”

  “Why did you say it?”

  “I don’t know. Who you choose to spend time with is not for me to comment on. I’m the hired hand.”

  “Is that all?”

  “It’s all I ever want to be.”

  She nodded and pain filled her expression. “Okay.”

  “I don’t aim to hurt you, Aloura.”

  “I know.” Her quivering smile caused me so much pain. “You know I like you, and much more than an employee. No more flirting, okay? We can be friends, I promi
se. I won’t push for more. I understand how you feel.” She shifted, and her eyes glazed over, but she blinked rapidly and tucked everything away.

  “I’m not worth all this hurt, and I keep hurting you even though I don’t want to. The last thing I ever want to do is make you cry. I’m not worth those precious tears, Aloura.”

  “A man willing to break my heart doesn’t deserve my tears. But a man strong enough to protect it is worth everything. You Ryan, are worth everything. You just need to believe it.” She leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to my cheek. “Now come on, let’s go enjoy your friends and stop moping.”

  She nodded her head in their direction and offered me a gentle smile. We ordered more drinks before returning to the table. Everyone regarded us with sceptical eyes, and I hated that I caused so much drama.

  “He’s going to stop being such a whiney bitch and play nice,” Aloura announced. There were a few shocked laughs, and Lou beamed proudly. I placed the drinks on the table and patted her ass.

  “Sit.” I snapped my fingers and pointed to her seat. With a notable vacancy. I glanced at Will, who simply grinned at me. He’d gotten rid of the handsy dickhead. Her smile almost stopped my heart it was so beautiful.

  And as simple as that, we were good again.

  “I think this calls for some shots,” Lou announced, holding her hands in the air.

  “Oh, I don’t think so.” I chuckled, shaking my head.

  “Listen, I’ve been pregnant or breastfeeding for the past two years. I. Am. Having. Shots.” She punctuated her demand by stabbing her finger in the table. I looked at Jo and lifted my eyebrow before giving him a nod to get his woman under control. There was no way she was getting shots into Aloura.

  “Bro, I love you, but I openly admit she has me by the balls. I ain’t telling her no.”

  “Pussy,” I grumbled under my breath when he simply laughed at me and chugged on his beer.

  “No, he just knows better than to tell me no.” Lou giggled and waved her hand at the bar.”Aloura, you’re up for shots, right?” Lou glanced across the table hopefully.