Silent Scars (Surviving #4) Page 15

  “This is so not fair,” Emily whined and rubbed her stomach. “This is all your fault.” She scowled at Will. He pulled her onto his lap and moved his hands over her rounded belly.

  “I’m pretty awesome, I agree,” he said smugly.

  Emily stared into my brother’s eyes, and my heart squeezed at the love shining in them. I adored that girl so much. She had given Will the family he always wanted. But more than that, Will was her entire world. She threaded her fingers through his over her stomach. My gaze sought out Aloura across the table, watching Emily and Will with a longing in her eyes, and in that moment I had never wanted something with such a passion.

  As if feeling my eyes on her, she glanced in my direction, our eyes caught, and held. The music faded, and there was nothing but her. She was perfection, absolute heaven.

  “Are we too old to play a game? I feel the need to recapture my youth,” Lou said, looking around the table with a hopeful smile. She looked down at her phone, typed out a text, and then placed it on the table.

  “What kind of game?” Emily asked.

  “My little walrus, if you wanted to play spin the bottle, all you had to do was say. But leave the bottle and just place your lips right here,” Jo said, leaning around me. I pressed my palm to his face and pushed him back into his seat.

  “Later.” She winked and licked her lips. I rolled my eyes.

  “I’m up for a game. What we doing, body shots?” Jo called. I shot my glare in his direction and caught the blush rising up Aloura’s delicate neck.

  “What about truth?” Lou said.

  The men of the table grumbled, and Lou and Aloura bounced in their seats, excited by the prospect. I was about to object when the guy from the bar came over with a tray of shot glasses, limes, and a shaker of salt. A bottle of cherry sourz and a bottle of tequila. He leaned over and pressed a kiss to Emily’s temple, handing her a virgin cocktail.

  “Thank you, Phil,” Lou shouted, grabbing the bottle from the table. He rounded the back of my chair and leaned over to Lou and pointed to his cheek.

  “Payment for being such a dashing barman?”

  Lou cupped his face and planted a smacking kiss on his mouth.

  Jo laughed. “She will do anything for free drinks.”

  She pulled her tongue out and proceeded to line the glasses up. Everyone told Lou what drink they wanted. Once they were all poured, Phil grabbed a tequila and lifted his glass in salute before knocking it down his throat. He pulled out his phone, glanced at the screen, and shook his head.

  “Duty calls. Be good.” He pointed at Lou and Emily.

  Lou handed out the drinks, called a salute, and everyone except Emily and I drank their shots. I watched as Aloura downed her drink and licked her plump lips, which would now taste of cherry, and I’ll be damned if I didn’t want to lean over the table and take a nip at them.

  Lou refilled the glasses. “Truth,” Lou shouted. Her eyes were glassy, and her limbs were sloppy. Over the course of the past hour, Jo had moved, and she was now sitting in his lap as he nibbled and sucked on her neck. He was beyond playing the game, and the look in his eyes said he wanted nothing more than to take his wife home.

  “Okay, I’ve never had an orgasm during sex,” Aloura proclaimed, holding her glass in the air. The table fell silent, and she giggled before hiccupping, starting another round of giggles from her. She looked so adorable, but the words were racing around in my head.

  She’d never had an orgasm.

  “You’ve never had an orgasm?” Lou said, leaning across the table, dislodging Jo from her neck.

  “Yes, just not during – you know.”

  “Penetratice...penetakive...what the hell. While his dick’s inside you?” Lou slurred. The women laughed as if it was the most hilarious thing in the world.

  “Nope. Never. It’s not as if they were small wieners either.” She shrugged her shoulders like her confession wasn’t important. Everyone sat staring at her in total bemusement. My mind was reeling. How the fuck could a man leave her delectable body unsatisfied? As if on cue, my dick twitched, because the fucker wanted a shot at making her scream.

  A melancholy silence washed over the table, like Aloura’s lack of orgasms had killed their buzz. The glasses were full, but no one reached for them.

  I reached out and grabbed my soda, downing gassy sweetness. Everyone was watching me.

  “I’ve never fucked anyone in a car, and I’ve always wanted to.” Everyone stared at me like I’d lost my damn mind, and to be honest I think I had.

  “It’s uncomfortable,” Will said, breaking the tension. “Especially if the gear stick goes places you do not want it to go. Okay, truth.”He tapped his chin. “Once in a deposition I was so horny I couldn’t concentrate. So I called for a break, making the excuse I needed to call my client privately and went to the bathroom to jerk off. Kind of embarrassing seeing as I was married at the time and the only action my dick was seeing was my fist.”

  Emily giggled and buried her face in Will’s neck. Her arms wrapped around his neck. He held her close and laughed along with her. “Thankfully I don’t need to do that anymore.”

  Lou poured more drinks, and we all downed them. Jo and Lou were the only ones not offering any truths, I could understand Jo not wanting to share anything.

  “I’ve always wanted to try anal, but it terrifies me it’ll hurt,” Lou said. Jo choked on his drink and started coughing. Lou chuckled and patted him on the back.

  “What?” Jo asked.

  “Oh, don’t you be getting all hopeful; we aren’t trying it. There is no way your sticking that monster up there. There isn’t enough lube in the world to tempt me.”

  Jo pulled her against his chest and whispered something in her ear. She squealed and slapped at his arm whilst laughing.

  Aloura’s eyes were bright as she watched Jo and Lou. She laughed, and her face flushed – she had never looked so beautiful.

  Lou lifted her glass and shouted, “To truths.”

  Everyone, including me, raised a glass and saluted.

  My gaze collided with Aloura’s, and I was captivated by her. Even from where I was sitting, I could feel the heat between us.

  “Harry!” Aloura squealed loudly and shifted in her seat. I glanced behind me to the cocky bastard sauntering towards us, a shit eating grin on his face, but his attention was solely on Aloura. He had a glass of either whiskey or brandy in his hand. I glanced back at Aloura to see she was standing on the seat of the booth. She stepped over Lou and Jo, putting her ass incredibly close to Jo’s face, before she launched herself into Harry’s waiting arms. He caught her with one arm holding his drink out. It sloshed over the sides, but he laughed when she wrapped her arms and legs around him. She was talking and laughing as soon as she lifted her head. I couldn’t hear exactly what she was saying, but the cocky bastard grinned at her and nodded. Lou watched me with a curious smirk on her face. “Come and meet Ryan’s friends,” Aloura shouted. She had untangled her long glorious legs from around his waist, but that didn’t stop him running his hand over her ass and back as she lowered herself down his body. She grasped his free hand and pulled him closer to the table. He smirked at me before wrapping his arm possessively around her waist and pulling her back against him. He rested his chin on her shoulder as she pointed out everyone.

  “We have been playing truth,” Aloura announced like a proud kid.

  He chuckled and tickled her sides. “Only you would find that fun.”

  “Hey, everyone liked it.” She said sounding suddenly unsure.

  “We were enjoying it,” I offered. Way to sound like a petulant child, Ry.

  “Tell us a truth,” she demanded of him.

  “I have my cock pierced, does that count as my truth.”

  Aloura spun around and faced him. She glanced down at his junk, as if it was hanging out for all to see. “You have not.”

  “Want me to take you out back and show you?”

  I tensed at his crass offer.
The fucker was seriously stretching my patience. Aloura slapped at his chest and grimaced. “No thank you. Have you really though? You didn’t tell me.” Her face was a beautiful mix of inquisition and innocence.

  “Hold this.” He handed her his glass and put his hands over his belt. He started unbuckling his pants when Aloura’s mind caught up. She slammed the glass on the table behind her and placed her hands right over his junk.

  “Stop,” she hissed.

  “You asked.”

  “I didn’t ask you to strip. Leave your todger in your underwear.”

  “Babe, I don’t wear underwear.”

  Aloura spun around and faced the group. “I apologise for my friend. He’s a pain in the arse most of the time.”

  “Hey.”

  “Come on, let’s sit down before you cause any more trouble.”

  Lou and Jo shuffled along the booth to let the cocky bastard and Aloura in. He slapped me on the back, much harder than was friendly, but I simply smirked at him. There was no way I was going to give him the satisfaction of seeing me flustered. The dickhead wanted a reaction. At least Aloura was closer to me this time.

  “Shall we carry on the game?” Lou asked, her voice slurred and a little loud.

  “How come all the confessions are about sex?” Will asked, taking a pull of his beer. He was laying off the shots. He had a couple but was now drinking beer.

  “Because sex is everything,” the cocky bastard offered. I was sure Will wasn’t even including him in the conversation.

  “Sex is only a small part,” I argued.

  “Nothing small about my dick.” The fucker interrupted and winked at me.

  “That isn’t what I meant.”

  “There is nothing to be ashamed of, Ryan, if you have a small cock,” Harry said.

  “It isn’t small.” Aloura informed the group and then covered her mouth. Everyone stared at her. “Or at least, I assume it isn’t.” She added, her cheeks turning puce she was blushing so hard. The entire table burst into hysterics; even Will choked on his beer.

  The cocky bastard glared at me.

  “Have you two...” Emily asked Aloura with a mischievous smirk.

  “What? No! No, no, no, nooo.” She waved her hands to add to her protests, but Emily’s grin only widened. “I saw him...in the shower.” Aloura rushed to add. I glanced at her knowing that was a lie because I always, to a point of OCD, made sure I locked the door. But something in the nervous way Aloura kept glancing at me from the corner of her eyes and the bright red of her cheeks told me she had in fact seen my cock.

  When the group continued chatting again, I leaned over to Aloura and pressed my lips close to her ear so my words were for her only.

  “When did you see my cock, Aloura?” She shivered. Totally unprofessional, but I loved that she responded to me that way. She turned her head slightly so her cheek rested against mine.

  “I came to your room, and you were...” She paused a moment before those precious ruby lips spilled words that had my dick hard in record time. “You were having a wank, and I watched as you came all over your stomach. It was the hottest thing I’d ever seen.”

  I jerked back and stared into her big brown eyes. Her cheeks were still flushed, but I assumed from arousal not embarrassment. She had seen me? When I continued to stare, her confidence waned, and she averted her gorgeous eyes and let her hair curtain her face. I wanted to push the strands back, but it would be too much of a bold statement to these vultures. They were all laughing and joking as if Aloura hadn’t just dropped a NATO sized bomb on me.

  “I bet Aloura’s got a hairy vag,” the cocky bastard announced. I had no idea where the fuck that had come from, but at that moment I was preparing my fist to connect with his big fucking mouth. Aloura gasped and slapped his arm. At least she didn’t see anything funny.

  “I groom perfectly, thank you very much. My muff is as bald as a badger’s backside.”

  This time was Jo’s turn to choke out a laugh. Everyone turned their attention to Aloura, who was glaring at me with a devilish glint in her eyes. But one thing was rolling around in my head.

  A badger’s backside?

  “Oh my God, I love her,” Lou said through her tears.

  “I like bare –”

  “Jo, we haven’t heard your truth,” Aloura shouted, pushing a glass towards him. Will and I leaned forward to interrupt like the protective bears we were, but Jo grabbed his glass downed it and smirked at Lou.

  “I’ve always wanted to fuck Lou at the library.”

  Will choked out a startled laugh. Jo’s cheeks mottled a bright red.

  “Don’t you dare,” Jo warned.

  Will’s grin turned mischievous.

  “Tell us Will.” Lou chuckled, staring at Jo.

  “He had a huge crush on this woman who worked at the library on campus.”

  “Is that so?” Lou asked, grinning at him.

  “He would get so tongue tied and bashful when he talked about her.”

  “Did you ask her out?” Lou asked him with a smile, but I caught the hitch in her voice. She wasn’t a fan of my brother having dated other women.

  Jo shook his head.

  “She was married.”

  “Johan Senior, you were lusting after another man’s wife,” she gasped in mock horror.

  “You were pregnant with another man’s kid when I fell for you.” He deadpanned.

  She opened her mouth but gawped like a fish. Stunned, we all stared at a silent, no comeback, Louise.

  “I feel like we are experiencing history,” Will said in awe. “Lou has nothing to say.”

  “Oh, buggar off,” she quipped. “It was my undeniable charm that won him over.”

  Jo purposely glanced down at her breasts. “It was your charm alright.”

  I watched in avid silence as this close group joked about falling in love and the private little moments they had shared with one another. I saw the distance between us growing further and further. I had missed so much. I hadn’t been there when Jo had his first crush. I hadn’t been there when he met Lou. Or when his daughter was born. They included me in their family, but I was essentially a bystander holding onto people I had no right to claim as my own. My hands shook beside me as Jo leaned over and kissed Lou on her bare shoulder. He had fallen in love with the most amazing woman, and I had missed it all. I hadn’t known he was alive. An ocean away, alone and dead inside because I believed the only person I had ever truly felt needed by was gone. But he wasn’t. He was living his life, falling in love, and creating a family. I didn’t deserve to be here. I was destined to be in a war torn country defending these people. Not sitting at a table drinking and laughing with them.

  My gaze collided with two big doe eyes. Humour and joy danced within the chocolate depths. But when they caught the despair in mine, the glow faded.

  I caused the light to fade. She tilted her head to the side and regarded me. The table was humming with jokes about Jo’s library crush. But with each barb I felt a knife pierce my heart. I hadn’t been there for him; Will had. Will deserved this. I didn’t.

  “I have a library,” Aloura interrupted loudly. The conversation tittered. She cast one singular glance my way, and in that moment I knew she had rallied to bring me back from myself imposed hell. She was a stranger to me, and to this group, but she forced the bad away when she sensed it neared us.

  “You have a library?” Lou asked, her mouth gaping in awe.

  “Yep. Never had sex in it though.”

  Great, now I was imagining that.

  “Books are like fucking porn to women, I swear,” Jo said, grabbing his glass from the table.

  “How many times have I heard ‘just one more chapter, babe’,'“ Will offered in a really tight high pitched voice, earning a slap from Emily.

  “You can’t leave a chapter unfinished,” she argued.

  “Lou can’t leave a book unfinished,” Jo said and ducked Lou’s swinging hand. “But I guess it keeps her quiet and o
ut of – oomph.” He wasn’t quick enough to avoid that jab.

  “Some of them aren’t too bad,” I uttered, but clearly not quietly enough because the men at the table gawped at me. “She has audio, I can’t not listen to that shit,” I defended myself. Aloura’s shy smile was worth the disbelieving stares from the others.

  The music suddenly increased in volume, and Aloura bounced in her seat and clapped. The cocky bastard grinned at her and jerked his head in the direction of the dance floor. She shoved at his shoulder to move out of the booth. When he was standing, he held out his hand, and she placed her delicate fingers in his.

  “My lady wants to dance.” He made an elaborate show of bowing, and then swiftly he bent over, thrust his shoulder into her middle, and threw her over his shoulder and swatted her backside.

  “I really like her,” Emily said close to my ear, startling me slightly.

  “Yeah, me too,” I said absently as I watched Aloura be carried away from me.

  “I love this song,” I squealed as we reached the dance floor. I tapped out the beat on Harry’s arse. He placed me down, and immediately my hips swayed. Harry was the best dancer I knew, and I loved when we got to dance together in clubs. It rarely happened at his place because he was always working.

  He sang as he was grinding his hips against mine. I giggled and clapped my hands above my head, singing and moving against him. We had danced hundreds of times together, and I knew his body as he knew mine. We could silently read one another. Plus the added bonus knowing I wasn’t going to find an unexpected boner or have to defend myself against grabby hands. I was here to dance and nothing more.

  Harry pulled me close and slid his hands over my arse, holding me against his crotch in a definite possessive move. “Harry?” I pushed against his chest to move back a little, but he tightened his hold and pressed his lips against my ear.

  “Your new toy is about to blow a gasket,” he whispered, his lips so close to my ear I was certain it would look like he was kissing me.

  “What?” I pushed against his chest again and jerked when his fingers curled under the hem of my shorts. If he went any higher, he would be touching places I certainly didn’t want him touching.