Silent Scars (Surviving #4) Page 9

  She could be my everything.

  I snorted at the hilarity of that thought; clearly my orgasm mashed brain was taking things a little far. Grabbing clean clothes and my toiletries, I exited my room and headed for the bathroom.

  An hour later and completely relaxed, I found Aloura in the library. I made us both coffee, and as I entered the library, I paused for a moment, taking my fill of the vision before me. She was sitting in that big comfy chair, her legs tucked underneath her with the rat curled up in her lap as she read from the screen of her Kindle.

  “Oh hey,” she said when she realised I was standing in the doorway. “Is one of those for me?” The hopeful smile on her lips warmed something inside me. I grinned back and headed over to her. She shifted in her chair and placed a hand on the rat’s back when he jumped up, startled.

  “Why do you have all those books when you read on there?” I asked.

  “Because paperbacks are prettier,” she said. She pushed her glasses up her nose in that sexy, yet adorable way.

  “That makes...no sense,” I joked as I handed her a mug.

  Her returning smile could have brought world peace it was so stunning.

  “It makes sense to me.”

  “So what is that one about?”My voice was way too thick as I towered over her. Christ, why did I have to be so tall?

  “A female pilot. She’s driving the hero batshit crazy. He’s a widower, and she’s loved him all her life, but he’s never noticed her before.”

  “Hmm.”

  “What to read it with me?” she asked. I wanted to laugh at how ridiculous that sounded, but the hopeful glint in her eyes had my resolve buckling. I would do anything to keep that innocent beauty alive in her.

  “How about you read it to me?” I suggested, hoping she would tell me to go to hell. No one ever wanted to read out loud. She glanced at the screen for a few moments, deliberating my request. Eventually, she shifted over, allowing room for me in the chair, and patted it for me to sit.

  “Do you want me to start from the beginning?”

  “No, from where you are is fine.” There was no way I was sitting through the torture of a romance novel from the fricking beginning.

  She sucked in a breath, preparing herself. The rat crawled over her lap and into mine. I held my hands up as he walked around in circles before flopping down. I glanced at Aloura, who was smiling at me. She placed her coffee on the table beside her, and I handed mine to her so I wouldn’t scald the dog.

  “Okay...you ready?”

  “Yup.”

  “He pushed his chair back and jerked to his feet. B.J. swallowed as he glared down at her. She wanted –”

  “Wait. The woman is called B.J.?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Why?”

  “I guess we find out later.”

  “Okay. Continue.” She read a few more passages; clearly this B.J. woman was driving the poor guy crazy, just like Aloura said.

  “...it’s about time someone threw an ice cold glass of reality right in your face,” she said, and a small smile graced her lips.

  “She sounds like Louise,” I muttered, grinning at her. But her stony glare shocked me.

  “You have to stop interrupting.”

  “Okay...sorry.” Jeez.

  She narrowed her eyes, giving me a death stare, but the twitch at the corner of her mouth was a big giveaway. Without thought I reached out and tickled her sides. I’d seen Will and Jo use it on their women when they received a similar stare down. She squealed, batting at my hand before her fingers wrapped around mine and held tight. She continued reading as if us sitting in a huge ass chair with her dog in my lap and holding hands was the most natural thing in the world.

  It wasn’t, but God it felt like it really should be.

  I curled my fingers, holding her back. I watched as a small grin tugged at the corners of her lips and rested my head against the back of the chair. If she minded me watching as she read, there was no indication of it.

  Her hand flexed as did mine when we realised where the story was heading. I was mesmerised by the pink rising from under the neckline of her shirt, up her slender neck and to her porcelain cheeks. Her voice quivered, but she continued reading as the guy took his woman against the door of a hotel room. My eyes trailed down and watched as she swallowed, her long neck peppered with gooseflesh. I wanted to lean over and lick the hollow at the base of her neck. Trail my fingers over her collarbone. Suck on her pale skin and ruddy it with my mark. Trace my fingers over soft feminine flesh. Clearly, taking myself in hand three times was not enough after a two year hiatus, because my pants were suddenly tight, and I found myself sliding my fingers between hers and holding onto her tightly.

  Her chest heaved as she sucked in deep breaths.

  Was she feeling the same thing as me? Is this what attraction was? Do you lose your mind so easily at the slightest of touches?

  Aloura glanced down at our joined hands and slowly lifting it before her gaze met mine. Her glasses were in place, but they did nothing to those molten chocolate orbs. I hadn’t been kissed in years, much, much longer than the last time I had been inside a woman. Hell, but if I didn’t crave Aloura’s lips on mine. I lifted my free hand and cupped her cheek, leaning into her. She released her hold on her Kindle and wrapped her hand around my wrist, holding me to her. I pressed my forehead against hers and breathed out a ragged breath.

  “Aloura.” My voice was tight and so full of need. Never in my life had I wanted something so desperately as I wanted her lips on mine.

  She tilted her face to me, I could feel the heat of those ruby red lips as they neared.

  The loud slam of the main door had me jerking away and jumping to my feet, effectively yanking myself free of her hold, both physically and mentally. Most of my life I had been commanded to do something, forced into submission, mentally beaten down until there was nothing left to fight with. It had taken me years to create a solid wall to keep out those intent of causing me pain, years of evolving and shutting it out, before learning to fight. Attack before they hurt me.

  Her – I was handing her a fucking key and welcoming her in.

  I yanked the library door open and was greeted by warm air. Sally stood just inside the doorway with a bundle of mail.

  “Hey, I wasn’t sure if she would be back from her run yet.” She lifted the envelopes and waved them.

  “She’s in there. Wasn’t the door locked?”

  “What? Oh, yeah but I have a key.”

  “Who else has a key?” I retorted in a grisly tone.

  “Her family. Alec, Graham, I believe Harry has one and me, obviously. Why?”

  “I need to be aware of who has access to her home, and no one bothered to offer up such information.”

  Her gaze hardened, and her spine stiffened. I prepared for an argument, but when she glanced over my shoulder into the library, she relaxed and bobbed her head. “Yeah, I understand. Sorry. The gate has been restricted now, like you instructed so that’s why I’m here. The postman cannot gain access to her house.” She came towards the kitchen and placed the pile on the counter.

  “Hey, sweetheart,” she greeted, grinning as her daughter entered the kitchen. Her cheeks were still a little flush, but other than that, there was nothing to indicate I was seconds away from crossing into no man’s land.

  “Hey.” She pushed her glasses up her nose and gave her mom a hug. She turned and sifted through the mail, sorting it into what appeared to be junk and readable piles.

  “Okay, well, I need to get to work. What have you got planned for today?”

  “Nothing, seeing as I was fired,” she grumbled

  “You weren’t fired,” Sally said, rolling her eyes.

  “They asked me to not go in until this mess was sorted.”

  “Why?” I interrupted.

  Aloura huffed out an exasperated breath. “Because they believe the sudden acts of vandalism were targeted towards me. And it was costing them hundreds, nearin
g thousands to repair. I was cheaper to replace.”

  “Why did they think it was related to this?” My gut twisted at her crestfallen expression.

  “Because they wrote ‘the bitch will pay’ across the floor in her section. It was the same thing they scratched into her car here,” Sally offered. “It was a little after that when everything else occurred. Did Graham not include that in the dossier he sent to Will?”Sally paled; she looked sickened that this would be missed out. “It should have been in there.”

  “We had enough to determine this person is serious, but yeah, I should have been informed. They’ve notably cooled their attack. I wonder if they are aware of my presence.” I mused, to no one in particular.

  “I agree. But how would they know?”

  I glanced down at her mom. I was beginning to think the culprit wasn’t so anonymous as we first thought.

  “I better get going.” She headed over to her daughter and gave her a smothering hug. “Alec is heading to the airport soon. He has a conference in Ireland.”

  Aloura lifted her head and shifted her attention from the letter; her brows knitted together. “I didn’t realise he had a trip planned.”

  “Me either. Apparently it’s some huge yearly thing he wasn’t included in until the last minute. But it’s important enough for them to insist he go. Don’t worry your dad isn’t going. Alec said he prefer he stay here and keep an eye on you.”

  “What does he do?” I asked, glancing between them.

  “He’s the managing director at a logistics firm. Okay, I definitely do need to go. Love you.”

  “Love you, Mum,” Aloura replied distracted.

  Sally glanced at her and inclined her head for me to follow. When we stepped outside, she motioned for me to close the door. The wind blew, tousling her inky hair. She reminded me so much of Aloura. She was a perfectly aged version of her daughter.

  “How is she?”

  “Very resilient. Nothing seems to faze her.” I was amazed. I had pre-conceived ideas of a rich brat playing on the attention. The girls I knew growing up would have milked it for everything it was worth.

  “She’s good at hiding it.”

  She was refusing to let the stalking idiot drag her down. It was the people around her that were forcing her into submission. They were protecting her but stifling her.

  “I think she just wants her normal life back, and not some moody guy following her around.” I tried for a smile, but it felt more like a grimace. For some reason the thought of leaving her behind caused a twinge of pain in my chest.

  “I’m beginning to wonder whether it’s worth the fight.”

  “In what way?”

  “Putting her through this. They want Graham to stop what he does, and they are willing to hurt her if he doesn’t. We can’t risk that.”

  “Do you believe in the work he does?” I asked, my voice firm.

  “Of course I do. He’s not the monster they make him out to be.”

  “Stay strong for your daughter and Graham. They need you right now. Bowing down to this is not the solution.”

  Sally’s shoulders sagged, and she blew out a breath. Her eyes were glazed and the vibrant confidant woman I initially met was slowly dimming. The woman before me loved her daughter more than anything in this world, and I had to admire her for that. It was the same devotion Ane and Bill had for Will and Jo.

  “She believes in her dad too much to let them win. You know Aloura would hate herself if she knew people were denied access to what he produces in a bid to save their lives.”

  “Maybe.”

  “This clown will get bored, or caught. He won’t touch her.”

  Sally offered me a watery smile in a weary agreement.

  “Thanks, Ryan.” She patted my arm before wandering back down the long drive, towards her own home. I watched her go, she must feel so helpless. I had experienced that desperate need to protect the ones you love from the sick twisted people in the world and failed miserably. It’s the unbelievable fear of not having any control.

  As Sally headed back to her house, a sense of suffocating failure swamped me. They were placing their faith in me to keep their daughter safe, and I had failed every single time I had tried to protect my own family.

  You will fail.

  When the noises threatened to come forward, I clapped my hands over my ears. If it killed me, I would not fail her. I yanked at my skull cap, pulling it over my ears. She didn’t deserve a fucked up mess like me in charge of her safety, but I’ll be damned if I trusted anyone else to watch over her. I spun around to face the front door and paused when I saw the rat was sitting on the step staring at me.

  “What?” I asked, like I expected the tiny thing to answer. He tilted his head to one side and one ear lifted, just as his tail started wagging against the concrete of the step. He jumped up onto all fours, and his tongue stuck out.

  Did he look – happy? “Oh Christ, I’ve lost my damn mind.” I stepped forward, but the fricking rat accepted that as me offering some weird ass friendship. He skipped down the steps and pawed at my leg. He was tiny, but he could jump like a kangaroo.

  “Alright, chill dude. You’ll hurt yourself.” I knelt down so he wouldn’t jump so high and sprain something. I had a feeling Aloura would kick my ass if I hurt her precious dog. He rested two paws on my knee, and I scratched behind his ear.

  “This doesn’t mean we’re friends, got it?” He panted, and I'd be damned if I didn’t smile at the cute pup. Tickling him one more time behind the ear, I wrapped my hand around his belly and lifted him up to cradle him under my arm. “Let’s go see our girl, okay?”

  His loud yap was confirmation enough for me. I ignored how great it felt to have this little guy and only be a second away from seeing Aloura.

  When we entered the house, I knew immediately something was wrong. Aloura was standing at the counter, just as I’d left her. But this time there were photos laid in front of her. She had a padded brown envelope in her hand and was staring down at the images. Her face grimaced in absolutely agony. I placed Hercules on the couch and was by her side in seconds.

  “How can anyone do this?” she whispered, in a trembling voice. I glanced at the array of photographs. Bile swirled in my throat, burning a hot trail as the horrendous images before me scorched my eyes. They were sickening. Naked children in depraved situations with grown ass men taking advantage, mutilated animals, corpses, women crying in agony as they were tortured – you name it, any sick depraved thing you can imagine, and the photograph was here. But the consensus was pain and suffering.

  “Oh God,” Aloura gasped on a sob. She turned and curled into me, fisting my shirt. Her shoulders jerked as silent tears and agony escaped her. My eyes returned to the photos. Some had the words “are you proud” scratched across them. Some had “your father is responsible” on the ones of patients clearly in pain on hospital beds. The difference was, those weren’t hospitals over here, those were ones in war torn countries. I knew because I had been to more than one. The photo that had me pulling her closer was one of her, photoshopped so she was covered in blood, and the words “I’m coming for you” were written in sharpie across the bottom. The sick bastard had a penchant for pain. No right minded person would be able to stare at these images and not feel sick. But to search, download, and print them took a certain kind of warped mentality – I had known those kinds of sick fuckers my entire life. They had no place in Aloura’s life.

  “I promise you that your dad has nothing to do with any of this shit. These are from the fucked up internet. I swear these are nothing.”

  “I know,” she sobbed into my shirt. I rubbed my hand in circles over her back. “How can anyone do this?” Her trembling hand held out a photo of a bloodied, beaten, and sexually abused child.

  I pulled her closer, needing her in my space as much as she needed me. “I wish I knew the answer to that.” I knew more than I liked about the depravity in people’s minds. I was introduced to the vile desires of
human nature at the age of four, and I still suffered backlash. There was no forgetting that shit, no putting it aside. It was there every time someone touches you, every time you’re given a certain lustful gaze. The noises, the smells, it’s always there. Completely ingrained into your brain and scorched into your skin. There’s no recovering from being soiled at a young age. There was no forgetting regaining consciousness at a young age being surrounded by adult men and covered in their come. Some nightmares you never left behind.

  Aloura’s hands in my shirt twitched, bringing me back to the here and now. She needed me. Tucking my finger under her chin, I urged her to meet my gaze. When her wet chocolate eyes greeted mine, my knees weakened. I lifted my other hand from around her waist and slowly pulled off her glasses, careful not to poke her in the eye. Cupping her cheek with one hand, I wrapped the long sleeve of my shirt over it my fist and wiped under her eyes. Capturing the tears dampening those gorgeous long lashes, she closed her eyes and a shuddering breath escaped those ruby lips. For a moment I could only stare, captivated by the lushness. I wanted to clamp my teeth down on it, suck on the juiciness and gorge myself on her taste. Her hands tightened, pulling at my shirt.

  Never have I been short of a beautiful women to warm my bed. I came from one of the richest families in the States, I had a pretty-boy face, and yeah I worked hard to maintain my physique. But looks fade, money can dwindle, and all you are left with is a fucked up shell, and a broken useless mind. That’s when your true friends come to light, the ones standing beside you when you have nothing to offer them other than what’s under your skin. But underneath my skin was dead so there was nothing worth seeking. Why did she make me feel so exposed?

  I held her away, keeping her steady when my abrupt movements caused her to stumble. This couldn’t happen. Touching her, holding her – that wasn’t my reality.

  “We need to get this shit to the police,” I snapped and pushed it back into the envelope. I avoided her hurt and confused gaze. I made the mistake of glancing at her just as I was about to leave and caught the devastation in her gaze. I couldn’t add to her pain. She was more important than me.